Understanding Sixteen

Being a good and loyal 32nd degree Mason, my daddy took us to the annual Masonic Christmas party every year without fail. The Masonic Hall was enormous , like some ancient, well kept and mysterious Roman temple. There were Christmas carols, a 50 foot if it was an inch tree, and of course, at the end of the night,
a cheerful visit from Santa Claus.

While the adults ate and drank and danced and did whatever grown ups did, we played hide and seek in the cavernous rooms, raced up and down the endless , marble stairways, and caused mishief wherever possible. But by the time I was a teenager, I'd outgrown the games and preferred to wander quietly with my own thoughts. I'd walk the halls and listen to my heels as they staccato'd on the black and white floors.
Sometimes I brought a book and would find a corner to read and watch the people. The men all wore tuxes
and the woman were in floor length gowns of every conceivable color - it was all glamorous, intricate and decadent.

Wanting to be seen as a young adult, I joined my daddy and a circle of his friends. He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head and someone remarked that I'd certainly changed from the picture. That was when I noticed that Dad had his wallet out and had been passing around a snapshot.
When it was handed back to him and he tucked it back in his wallet, I caught a glimpse. And discovered the true and ultimate depths of teenage humiliation. Knowing that there was no way I'd be able to hold back the tears or face any of these men ever again, suspecting that my life was over, I made my way to the ladies room, praying to be forgotten and left behind forever.

My daddy found me. He dried my tears, soaked paper towels in cold water and pressed them against my eyes, combed my hair and made me fix my face. Then he looked at me, trying hard to keep his eyes serious and not smile at my anguish. Very softly, he said "I'm sorry. I'll get a different picture." And he hugged me.

I was sixteen then, he was somewhere in his late forties. Signs of the trouble down the road had already appeared between us but that night, my daddy understood sixteen.