Some Things I Think About God

Here are some things I believe about God.

Despite how it often feels, He never gives us more than we can handle. How He determines what each of us can handle remains a mystery.

He never shuts a door without opening a window. The window might be on a third or fourth floor and we might get snagged trying to get through, but nevertheless.

He answers all prayers even though He often says no.

He doesn't do parlor tricks anymore, preferring to work through the people around us. And reasonable or not, He expects us all to find our own miracles.

Imagine you have a blood disorder that threatens your very life with every misstep. Some of your earliest memories are about hospitals and some of the first words you ever heard were warnings to be careful. You bruise
almost with the touch of feather, the bruise bleeds under your skin and keeps bleeding. People around you panic
and almost suffocate you with concern. Wisdom teeth, stitches, transfusions, a fall .... things most of us come to expect and overcome ....could re-hospitalize you for weeks. People tend to want to handle you gently as if you might blow away in a strong wind.

Where would you put the blame? How would you escape the well meant words of sympathy? How could you not be furious with a physical body that has betrayed you and cares not in the least for what you want or need or dream of? Where do you find the strenght to keep faith with any God who would do this to anyone? Why would you not simply give up?

Every moment of every life is a control issuse. Every human dymanic, every interaction, every relationship we have or don't have, every disagreement, disappointment or conflict is about control. Who has it, who wants it,
who can take it. To be easy in our own minds, we each must find our own way and our own peace within. It's no small thing.

I want to tell my cousin Linda that I understand, but I don't. I haven't lived her life. I can't even imagine some of what she's endured and managed to beat back, can't even comprehend the battle she's fought all her life. All I can tell her, is to stay in the day, to make the best choices that she can and to know that she has friends and family that are on the less traveled road with her.

And that she'd damn well better get this most recent bruise to a doctor.