Kindness Matters

Who was that on the 'phone my husband asked from behind the newspaper.
What did she want? when I told him.
She asked me to lunch. I said cautiously,
Really? The newspaper was lowered for an instant then raised again. Were all of her real friends busy?

Malice comes in all forms and from many directions. Sometimes it's dressed up as humor, sometimes it begins or ends with an endearment, and sometimes it's just a straight shot - mean spirited and designed to inflict maxiumum damage. People who feel the need to target others are a mystery to me though I suspect it must reflect some missing part of their own selves - lack of security or self esteeem, some dark cloud over their emotions that pushes them to strike out and harm others.

I don't get much of it anymore because I choose to be around people who care for me, support me, and value me as I value them. These are people who have no need to be the center of attention in all situations, who can feel good about themselves without having to make someone else feel bad. They can build without first tearing down, they can win without fixing the race. And they can share the spotlight without feeling in the dark.

I have come to a safe place where kindness matters to me more than sparring with the dark side of an ex-husband or a former friend. I am free to walk away instead of fighting back. I can distance myself without compromise from people who would draw me into quicksand. I believe more in the goodness of people than I used to and I have more
patience and understanding of their flaws and my own. We are all works in progress.