From the moment they come into this world, children are on the road to being set free and mothers travel with them, guiding, protecting, teaching, preparing and losing sight of the inevitable separation in the very process of being a mother. As plans go, it could use a little work - all those years invested only to have to let go. My oldest friend currently stands on the brink of this separation. As her beloved daughter readies herself for high school graduation, one last summer, and then college, she writes of her conflicted emotions - deepening sadness, elation, awesome pride, joy at how this beautiful child has turned out, melancholy over the about-to-be changes, resignation, acceptance. Each step she has taken with her daughter has brought her closer to this point of happiness and sadness and while part of her wants to stand back and watch her child fly, another part aches at the thought of letting her go. Her life is about to undergo a radical change and she is easily brought to tears.
She will face this with a brave smile and a hug, knowing she has no real choice in the matter. This is what parenting is about, bringing forth a child and then doing the best you can to ready them for an independent life. She will step back as her daughter takes the stage, step back and let go, but she will never be far away. She will miss her terribly and her house may seem empty but she will not give in. She loves her child with all her heart, she has raised her well, and she's ready, if not willing, to see her go.
It's ironic how in every ending, sometimes clearly displayed but more often well hidden, there's a beginning. We have to search for it, mostly in ourselves and even finding it can be only a temporary distraction but we embrace it because any distraction can take our minds off the sadness, even if only for a few brief moments. This mother and daughter will be separated but only by geography - they are each about to set sail on new and unchartered waters - the ties that bind them may pull and stretch but they'll hold. There is great love and understanding between them and the sadness will ease, no match for the joy of a new journey. All time with those we love is bittersweet.
She will face this with a brave smile and a hug, knowing she has no real choice in the matter. This is what parenting is about, bringing forth a child and then doing the best you can to ready them for an independent life. She will step back as her daughter takes the stage, step back and let go, but she will never be far away. She will miss her terribly and her house may seem empty but she will not give in. She loves her child with all her heart, she has raised her well, and she's ready, if not willing, to see her go.
It's ironic how in every ending, sometimes clearly displayed but more often well hidden, there's a beginning. We have to search for it, mostly in ourselves and even finding it can be only a temporary distraction but we embrace it because any distraction can take our minds off the sadness, even if only for a few brief moments. This mother and daughter will be separated but only by geography - they are each about to set sail on new and unchartered waters - the ties that bind them may pull and stretch but they'll hold. There is great love and understanding between them and the sadness will ease, no match for the joy of a new journey. All time with those we love is bittersweet.
No comments:
Post a Comment