Meaning What You Say

I'd found the baby raccoon out in the country and carried him to my vet's in a cooler. Doc opened it and as he was reaching in said "The secret to not being bitten by a raccoon is to close your fist." That baby animal took one look and latched onto his fist with everything he had. Doc shook him off in a shower of blood and with his other hand reached for a towel. "Well," he said with a resigned shake of his head, "Maybe that was horses."

The voice on the other end of the 'phone said "Is Pat there?"
Feeling a little more literal than usual, I said "Yes."
There was silence, considerable silence until I said "Did you want to talk to her?"
And without the slightest hesitation the voice said "No, I'm taking a survey."
Dial tone.

My friend Henry answered the 'phone sounding harrassed and busy. I said "Do you have a second?" And without missing a beat, he said "A second what?"

I envy quick minds and quick wits.