Random Acts of Friendship

I've never asked for or accepted charity in my whole life and always thought it was a blessing.  I suppose I like to think that I can overcome things with patience and time and sheer stubbornness but now I find that a savings account would be far more practical.  I'm ashamed to admit that this latest round of disasters has me too depressed to think clearly.  I can't even seem to get angry.

If ever there was a time for faith and internal fortitude, this is it but I don't seem to be able to find much of either.   This too shall pass, I tell myself, and One day at a time and a regular litany of other clever, little trite but true sayings that rattle around in my head.  I remind myself that there are people without enough to eat, without water or shelter or jobs, without a computer to categorize and complain about their misfortunes.  And I wait for that small voice to kick in and tell me to be grateful, to trust, to persevere, but lately that voice has been as silent and useless as the broken central heat and air.

Or, as I discover later in the same day, maybe I haven't been listening hard enough.

Help arrives first in the offer of a loan for a new central heat and air system.  I am so stunned by this generosity that I'm caught between being speechless and in tears.

Secondly, friends arrive and within an hour of my being home, the latest electrical crisis is resolved and the gas fireplace is working in the event of another loss of power or heat.  I don't know how to thank them, not just for the repairs, but for the kindness.  

Thirdly, a musician friend asks that I let her organize a benefit to help cover some of the substantial debt. I very nearly choke on my own pride at this generosity but manage to swallow hard and accept the offer.

Asking for help comes hard to me.  I value my independence and am accustomed to solving my own problems.
But there are times when the wall you're up against won't budge and the rock is pushing so hard it curls your toes.  That's when you discover the true meaning and blessing of friendships.  I'm not sure I deserve it or that I will ever be able to repay these kindnesses, these random acts of friendship.  But I'll try.