Focus & Forgive

Focus.  Forgive.  Let go and move on.
We are all so much stronger and braver than we imagine - we just don't always know it - or as a friend recently shared with me - whatever doesn't kill me had better start running.

Focus.
If we're fortunate, there'll be someone near and dear to point this out to us.  No matter how troubled the time, no matter how deep the wound, life does go on and we do mend - maybe not today or tomorrow, maybe not next week or even next year - but healing comes to all of us.  It's in our nature to survive and do all sorts of things we never dreamed possible.  There's always a choice to be made, always a chance to stop, look both ways, and change direction.   Sometimes I wonder if the first step isn't to stop looking in the mirror and look into the eyes of a friend instead.  Get a new perspective and see what they see rather than what you've come to expect or what you imagine you are.  Even if you don't agree, it'll give you something to think about, to practice, to focus on.  Learn to stay focused and time will pass, things will get better.

Forgive.
Start with yourself.  Dollars to doughnuts, you're your own worst critic and you likely deserve a break.  But for mistakes, we wouldn't learn much "sliding down the razor blade of life" as Tom Lehrer so inelegantly sings in one of his satires.  Go easy, pay attention to what you demand of yourself, be sure it's reasonable.  Give others the same consideration.  Don't judge too lightly, too harshly or too quickly.  Be fair, be patient, be generous, be kind and when you fall short, give yourself a little slack.  Time will pass, things will get better.

Let go and move on.
There's a lot of territory to cover between surrender and acceptance, a whole lot of ups and downs and uneven ground to navigate.  We all hold on a little tighter and a little longer at the prospect of unhappiness or loneliness or suffering.  We resist change for no better reason than the uncertainty and disruption it may or may not bring into our lives.  We deny and bargain, fight and make up, step forward and step back, and dance away, all to maintain position and keep chaos at a secure distance.  We treasure the illusion of control, never seeing that it's a magic trick, a little emotional sleight of hand designed to make us feel grounded and more or less safe.  We're afraid of losing our footing and falling - we forget that when we fall, instinct takes over and we get up, as many times as it takes.  Let go of the bad stuff.  Leave it behind and move on, time will pass and things will get better.

Truth is stranger than friction ~ Jimmy Durante