Fast Food & Relatives

My friend, Michael, who owns and operates his modeling business from his home, calls me and is sputtering with indignation and nearly incoherent - he is in his dressing room preparing for an interview with a prospective client when he notices a battered old car pull into his driveway.  Four young black people loudly emerge, a full two hours early - they are dressed for lawn work and each carries a crumpled paper sack of fast food and a grubby plastic container of soda.  They slouch their way to his front door and lean on the doorbell and he swears he can smell the obnoxious odor of fried fish and cooking grease all the way on the second floor.
This offends his senses and he descends the stairs, in his dressing gown and with no make up, and throws open the heavy front door, fully prepared to evict this low rent trash from his property.  When they tell him they are there for an appointment, he is overcome with surprise and shock and makes no attempt to hide his distaste, although he assures me, he is gracious - in his way - pointing out that anyone who arrives two hours early and has the effrontery to bring his whole ragtag family, cannot be welcomed and further, that as this is clearly his HOME and he has not asked them to lunch, he CANNOT BELIEVE they would have the indecency to imagine that he would allow them to bring their nasty, fried food inside and further, even if it weren't his home, HOW STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE to think he would see them under such circumstances.

They protest that no one told them they couldn't bring family or food and he coldly informs them that THIS IS AN INTERVIEW NOT A GODDAMN PICNIC and with a grimace, orders them gone.  They linger, trying to argue and sway him but he stands firm.  WE WILL NOT GET ALONG, he tells them and gathers his silk robe around him with a dignified swirl.  BEGONE BEFORE I SET THE DOGS ON YOU.

I am in tears at this sad tale, laughing so hard I can't speak, and he gives me his best imperial glare and demands to know what sort of person comes to an interview in unclean clothes and brings fast food and relatives and what has the world come to and finally WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY.

This only makes me laugh harder.

The world is a hard place for people with high expectations.