Rocket Science

Our's is a long, narrow building with offices at each end and nothing in between. Signs proclaim the names and speciality of each doctor, each entrance is marked and there is a prominent display of which entrance is for which doctor. It is, I've always thought, a simple and straightforward method of mapping out the building - requiring no more than the ability to read and then, depending on where you are in the parking lot, make either a right or left turn. It's not a maze, it doesn't require an advanced degree in mathematics or logistics, there are no tricks - find your doctor's name on a sign, walk toward it. The number of people who can't or can't be bothered to navigate this two step process is stunning. Each day we are beset by them, coming into the office with grimy and tantrumy urchins in tow, demanding directions to the other doctor's office, and visibly angry at being told they must go back outside as their is no inside access.

Is this the childrens doctor? they demand despite the signs, despite the waiting room overflowing with geriatric patients, despite the cluttered array of walkers and wheelchairs in their paths.

He's at the other end of the building, we tell them and we point.

Which other end of the building? they persist. Which other end of the building? I repeat, trying to find some logic in the question, The one that isn't at this end! They gather their belongings and smeary children and parade out in a snit and I'm too frustrated and overworked to care. How many ends can one building have? It's a straight shot, point A to point B, no elevators, no levels or floors, no streets to cross, and it's marked.

Later, during a brief lull, I find myself considering breadcrumbs, a path of yellow bricks, perhaps a guide rope from one doctor's office to the other that would enable them to go hand-over-hand. We could paint neon footprints on the cement walkways, maybe provide a shuttle service.

Real estate agents are constantly showing the empty offices. I shudder to think what questions a third doctor's office might bring.