Marriage is a little like a Whitman's Sampler - sweetness and variety mixed in with hard carmels that will rip your bridgework out and bitter, liquor laced pieces that can leave a bad taste. The entire box can go stale if you're not paying attention.
And so another marriage crashes - discontent, restlessness, simple but free floating unhappiness, a nameless need to move on and be free and leave the wreckage behind. There is anger and pain in the air, threats are made and harsh words spoken then a suitcase is packed and it falls quiet. Twenty years of partnership is dissolved with the slam of a door. She cries and rages while he refuses to look back. No one knows if it can be put back together or even if it should and the news makes me sad for both of them although having been through two marriages, I understand how couples can drift in different directions. Commonalities become conflicts, commitments become steel jawed traps and love lessens to be replaced by a sense of futility - as if through denial you can change feelings - and while you hope for the best and keep trying, the struggle takes it's toll until each day is too much to endure. Flight is the final option so you pack your guilt and unhappiness and move on, praying not to leave too much damage behind, hoping a change of scenery will bring a fresh outlook and another chance. The habit of marriage no longer fits and you discover you care more about your own well being and peace of mind than whatever it is that you can't fix. Self preservation has won out and you can't look back for fear of changing your mind.
It happens every day and we all survive one way or another and I have no doubt that some marriages were never meant to be in the first place. Still, to see a couple torn apart is painful and difficult - as a spectator, I am pulled in two directions with allegiances to both and no good way to be objective or neutral. These things happen, I tell myself and life goes on.
The mere process of living often leaves an unintentional wake of troubled water behind and you never know when you might need a life jacket.
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