Warrior Woman

In my dream it was very early in the morning and the dogs were making a racket. Then I heard my grandmother shriek and I came fully awake. There was a metal and glass clatter coming from downstairs followed by heavy footsteps and clearly defined profanity.


I found Nana in the pantry doorway, a can of bugspray in one hand and the old broom in the other. She was in her nightgown and behind her the dogs were frantically barking - she was shooing them and guarding the doorway while waving the broom like a madwoman. Wood, broken glass and several pots and pans were scattered on the red and white linoleum floor and water from the open faucets was pouring over the edge of the sink. A tiny, terrorized bat clung to the sheer curtain in the pantry window and my grandmother was doing battle like a wild woman. Get out of my kitchen! she screamed at the intruder, oblivious to the fact that the creature was cornered and had no place to go. She let loose an explosive shot of ant killer and the bat, half dead with exhaustion and fear fell to the floor in a crackly heap - she immediately pounded it into extinction with the broom, continuing the assault long after the thing was dead, it's wings in several pieces. Regaining her composure, she swept the remains into the dustpan and dumped them into the stove with a gesture of contempt. Together we cleaned up the glass, gathered the sticks of wood and mopped the floor, the dogs trailing our movements and inspecting the pantry floor. Bleach! she snapped at me and we scrubbed the kitchen and pantry til both our hands bled. Nana half leaned, half fell against the wall, panting and still cursing. Vile, rabies carrying vermin, she muttered, In my kitchen! I'll be goddamned!

The doomed creature had roosted in the outside woodbox and woken in the armload of wood Nana had been carrying in. Fearing that it might not have been alone, my grandmother re-armed us - the broom, the can of ant killer and a small kitchen axe - and we crept up to the woodbox like thieves in the night. We found no more bats but did manage to annihilate a small colony of woodbugs, several harmless spiders and a nest of flying ants. When Nana was satisfied that nothing else lurked in the kindling, we re-stacked the wood and she gave me a hug and told me Good work.

In all the years with Nana, I had seen many sides of her - angry, compassionate, efficient, impatient, kind, practical, protective, tyrannical. Until that morning I had not seen her viking side and it was impressive to behold. In defense of home, family and hygiene, my chunky, white haired grandmother had become a warrior and she was not to be second best even in a battle with a bat.