Push Here

The new kitten - now a nearly full grown, long haired and luxurious coated, solid black cat, the fifth of his color to share my life - watches the water flow out of the kitchen faucet and fill the sink. One paw takes a swipe at the mounting soapsuds then dismisses them in favor of the running water, sending a fine spray of droplets everywhere. I could swear this makes him smile. A few more swipes and he's bored with the game, opting for a silent and light footed jump to the floor where he unceremoniously lands in the water bowl. He's beautiful, deadly, affectionate, playful and funny - just none too bright. The small brown dog, who had been drinking from the bowl at the time of impact, yelps with surprise and scurries backward and out of harm's way. She collides with the tabby who had the back luck to be passing at a critical moment and the tabby lashes out with a nasty hiss. This arouses the interest of the black dog who comes trotting anxiously across the floor and she in turn skitters into another three cats in the midst of a disagreement. Two flee across the dining room table, sending candlesticks crashing and putting a crystal bowl in peril but the third stands his ground and arches his back in warning. Amid all this sudden chaos, the new kitten strolls innocently off, wet but dignified - his work is done, chaos has been served. At the doorway to the bedroom, he gives a vigorous shake and disappears with a backward look that strongly suggests he is pleased with himself.

I know people like this. They carry chaos in a backpack and when the world is peaceful and calm, they set a little free then stand back, a safe distance away, and watch. Some are simply bored and in need of entertainment, others enjoy inflicting confusion and conflict into our lives just because they can. Still others are empowered by causing a stampede from the sidelines, illustrating what a small amount of power can accomplish in an unsuspecting crowd. It's easy enough to yell fire when you're halfway through the theater exit door. These are the people who see a key pad between my shoulders and know exactly which button to push:

Push 1: Hurt my feelings
Push 2: Make me angry
Push 3: Make me cry
Push 4: Make me feel unappreciated
Push 5: Make me lose my temper
Push 6: Make me crazy

The reality is, of course, that I allow these feelings and that no one can drive me to them unless I pave the way. Just for today, the road is closed.