Don't Drink the Water

The more I think about it, the more I think it's something in the water.

Greeted by a crashed computer system that refused to grant me access, I called our tech support division and was elated to actually reach a live human being. Can you log on so that I can see what the problem is? she asked in a frilly little Valley Girl voice and I felt elation slip away. If I could log on, I pointed out, Odds are I wouldn't be calling you. There was a pause while she considered the logic of this, then she giggled, Oh, right. I wondered if it was too early for aspirin.

If every day were a Monday there might be some mitigation for the astounding and escalating level of ineptitude and sheer stupidity in the world. You might, for instance, be able to excuse it on the grounds of a hangover or some other foolish flawed behavior - temporary amnesia, perhaps, brought on by a migraine headache. But alas, it's far too widespread for that. There is a low hanging smog over us these days and I suspect it's the remains of millions of dead brain cells, free floating in search of a decent burial, victims of alcohol, drugs, laziness or quite simply dried up and useless from lack of exercise. The world is, no doubt, easier to tolerate if you don't reason or question or allow yourself the luxury of curiosity, imagination or involvement. It's either that, or there really is something in the water smothering us into a pit of stupid, apathetic, sullen, and silly.

My bad, the cheerful, empty headed little valley girl giggled again. And another million brain cells evaporate into the already polluted and crowded skies.