Feet First

What happened to our new nurse? I asked.
People are like shoes, she told me with a frown, when they don't fit, everybody's unhappy.

I remembered someone telling me that you can always judge a person by their shoes and thinking what a silly idea it was at the time. Now, after a lifetime of considering the shoes people wore, I wasn't as sure. They are, after all, the foundation on which we stand, contributing to our posture, our stance, our comfort, our confidence. Perhaps they are like people and must fit to ensure everyone's comfort level. Even though it seems a clearly flawed theory, perhaps it is a basic truth. I wore heels for years, regardless of how long I had to stand on my feet or how far I had to walk. Fashion mattered more than fit, showing off my legs mattered more than I cared to admit, and not matching my shoes to my dress was unthinkable. Long after my feet began to show signs of wear and tear, I continued the practice of heels - through numbness in my toes, through aching arches and heel pain, through tingling and swollen ankles and any kind of weather. I opted for high heel boots in winter and strappy sandals in summer, refusing to give in to age or callouses or cushioning. At days end, a slight limp was natural and worth the price. I wanted to fit with everyone else and shoes were a part of that fit.

I don't care so much about fitting in as I did then. I've come to put a higher value on individuality and a lesser value on the opinions of others. Integrity matters more than it did, as does being free to dress for comfort and my own style, all the way down to my shoes. In a town where the majority of ladies still dress for the grocery shopping, I can be shockingly mismatched and un-put together. Perhaps it's partly my age, partly my sense of (finally!) refusing to conform, partly the long overdue realization that I need to be kinder to my feet. At any rate, I care more about the shoe fitting than fitting the shoe.

Perhaps the next new nurse will be a better fit, perhaps not. I'm trying to tend to my own feet first and making room for others to do the same. Fashion is for the young and fleet but fitting in is up to each of us on our own.