The Other Side of Help

Sometimes you have to hurt to help.

With multiple injections of anaesthesia and a healthy dose of nitrous oxide to boot, it was all I could do to keep focused on my own breathing, but from the next treatment room I could hear someone crying and whimpering, No, please, no. I could also hear Bill's gentle voice, trying to comfort and calm and for a few moments there would be silence then the crying would begin again. My heart broke for the young woman and for Bill who I know would rather cut off a hand then inflict pain upon a patient. I knew every pitiful cry was cutting him to his core and that whatever the procedure was, he had no alternative. When my visit ended, I learned that the young woman was in her late 20's or maybe early 30's and was suffering an infection following root canal surgery. Her jaw was swollen, she was in excruciating pain and it was one of those really hateful situations where she was going to have to be hurt to be helped. It was agonizing for everyone and the atmosphere in the office was tense, distraught, and on edge. We are not prepared or trained how to intentionally deliver pain to one another and less trained to witness it. Her suffering unnerved me and I left as quickly as I could, wanting only to be as far away from her cries as possible and at the same time, being slightly ashamed of my own unease.

My face was numb from the cheekbones down and I knew it would be several hours until all the feeling returned but I was outside, walking in the bright sun. Others were not so lucky and I said a short prayer of thanks for myself, and a slightly longer one for the young woman still in the chair and those trying to help her.