Handle With Care

The black dog - nearly ten now - crawled to the top of the couch and promptly fell off with a thud. There was no sound for a second or two, then she appeared around the corner of the couch, eyes downcast, one back leg off the ground. She had re-injured her knee, likely dislocating her kneecap again, and as gently as I could I lifted her to the couch and laid her down. It wasn't long before she fell asleep. This will slow her down for a bit and Lord knows she looks pitiful with her awkward three legged gait but she'll adapt and adjust. She is just beginning to face the fragility of age and I comfort her as best I can.

Would that I could do the same for myself or my family and friends. We are all beginning to be more fragile, more aware and careful of the damage that a fall could do, more conscious of the danger of a misstep. We are gradually learning to live with our minds more on an unseen hazard control button - we pay attention when climbing stairs or hanging pictures, lifting something heavy or stepping out of the shower. We have always been frail creatures but never really knew it. It takes longer to heal now, longer to recover and get back. And we hate the limitations, the caution, the awareness. It doesn't seem fair to have survived all the foolishness and emotional wreckage only to be suddenly brought face to face with aging. And yet, at the same time, this is a wonderful time - full of freedom and promise, changes and challenges. We have survived this far, reasonably intact, with maybe just a little more wisdom, a little more patience, a little more kindness. We have mastered the art of moving on, past pain and bad luck, broken bones and promises. Now we have to master being careful. There are times when life seems to be a long, uphill climb and others when it's a gravity- driven rush downhill on your butt. I often find myself wondering what in the world happened to neutral, to middle ground - I don't seem to be able to find it.

The black dog, however, has no such issues, she knows only that she hurts and her instincts tell her what to do to minimize her discomfort. She walks carefully, favoring her leg and following her instincts. She is aging with more good sense and less trouble than I am.