Cabin Fever

My friend Iris and I have known each other practically since the womb. We are now in our late 50's and have old bones, several of which she broke in a recent fall and as a result is wheelchair bound. The condition, although only temporary, has several unpleasant side effects for her - lack of independence for one, and cabin fever for another, which I fear, judging from her recent emails, is reaching critical mass. Her home and privacy have both been invaded by medical outsiders and she's been forced to rely on others for the simplest things. On the bright side, she works from home and mainly by telephone so her work has suffered minimally. Still, confinement is confinement and her back porch while it brings her close to the outside world, doesn't bring her into it. Worse, she lives in New England and the temperature on the back porch is hardly ideal for this time of year.

She tells me that people admire her attitude and the way she's handling the accident and I began to think about how much our attitudes are shaped by happenstance. Disasters happen, temporary disabilities happen, emotional hardships are with us thoughout our lives. We live with loss, distance and rejection but they're all tempered by gains, closeness and acceptance. Do we choose our attititude or are we forced into it by circumstance? I think it may be a little of both with a hint of destiny thrown in for flavor. Like my friend, Aj, I believe that everything happens for a reason. Life can become so routine that we stop paying attention and need a wake up call.

So, my dear wheelchair bound friend adapts and adjusts though she hates every minute of it. She will go from chair to walking cast and eventually back to being vertical and carrying her weight as she was before the fall. I think she will be a better person for it, with a sharper appreciation for mobility. She rejects my advice to "become one with the chair" - she is stubborn and will fight her way back to walking no matter what it takes. I hope I would do the same.