Thursday, March 17, 2016

Go In Peace

The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk inside our own souls.
Edgar Allen Poe

They pulled a body from the bayou this morning.

It was all over the news, of course, complete with interviews with her roommate and friends and the police. There were pictures of the neatly kept little brick house in the well maintained subdivision where she'd gone missing two days ago. The reporters spoke with shocked neighbors,
the investigators said foul play was not suspected but they'd know more after the autopsy and the toxicology tests. When I realized it was someone I knew - not well, but she'd been a music fan and an aspiring photographer and we'd traveled in many of the same circles – I was stunned. When she was sober, she was a bright and cheerful soul, optimistic and honest and a tiny bit grandmotherly in her muted sweater sets and pearls. Tragically, she hadn't been sober that often.

When she was sober, there were happy social media postings about gratitude and detachment and faith. Friends replied with encouragement and well wishes. Her pictures showed her clear eyed and smiling, positive about the future and determined to stay well. But when she was off the wagon, there was nothing but silence, a worrisome and fearful silence that we all knew too well. When she was off the wagon, she looked for and found the darkness.


I wish her peace.

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