Hands Off

Most of us trip and stumble through life, never knowing when the ground will gave way and leave us suspended in mid air.  The best we can hope for is to learn from our mistakes, improve our judgement and values, be more careful, and do as little harm as possible.  All the rest is serendipity, happenstance, luck of the draw, if you will - all other words for God, some would say - nature doing her thing, my atheist friends would counter, random, meaningless and as futile and escape-proof as a perfect circle.

I see pain in a friend's eyes but she will not be drawn out and because I love her and this is not something she wants to talk about - she says so clearly but with some effort - I respect her decision and don't press.  And though her worry and sadness lodge in my throat like a rough edged stone, I can't think what to say to her.  I don't understand what it is to be a traditional and loving parent, to have children that will always be a part of you, to willingly want to make their pain your own.  For better or worse, I just don't come from that kind of family.

It's hard to watch a friend hurt and stay hands off but sometimes it's exactly what you need to do.