The Technical Side of Being Single

Being more than a little electronically challenged, I was less than enthusiastic about the local cable company's recent upgrade. The adaptor boxes arrived and sat on the kitchen table for several days until the cable went out and I was forced to connect them. While I now have picture and sound on both sets, the remote control power button doesn't work on the flat screen and the remote doesn't work at all on the smaller one. All things considered, I'm consoled by the fact that they work at all - I have a natural distrust of technology and my English major background failed to prepare me for the technical side of being single.


Used to be, when presented with an electronic challenge, my friend Scotty would drop by, appraise the situation, and then without the first glance at the instruction manual, put it together and make it work, whatever "it" happened to be. He saw clarity and sense in the little plastic bags of nuts and bolts Uand order in the jumble of cables and wires and diagrams. It's a guy thing, he would tell me with a crooked grin but I thought it was just how his mind worked - he liked working with his hands and putting things together, he liked being needed. He could connect a video recorder or install a window unit or fix a capricious vacuum cleaner. He printed his own black and white photographs, enjoying the creative process from start to finish.

I myself, am the no assembly required, just plug in and go, out of the box ready type. I prefer things to work simply and right with a minimum of fuss and small parts. Several pages of instructions - even when written in two languages and illustrated - depress me and I feel defeated before I begin. I've also realized that I dislike asking favors from friends so depressed and defeated or not, I unpack whatever tangle of equipment is included in whatever device, locate my glasses and a Phillips head screwdriver, and say a small prayer for patience. I already hate every minute it takes.

Such is the life of single woman, born out of time and too proud and stubborn for her own good.

And a final word about "xfinity", the new and improved cable service - once again, progress for its own sake with absolutely no redeeming features - the picture now randomly and constantly pixilates and breaks up, the sound abruptly stops and starts with no warning, the screen freezes then returns with dialogue and movement radically out of sync.  Could be I'm not the only one technically inept.