One More Cat in the Carnival

I open my eyes at a few minutes to six - remember it's Saturday and hoping the animals haven't noticed that I'm awake, turn over and burrow back under the covers. Sometimes without the alarm clock going off, they don't realize the time but this morning that isn't the case and in a matter of seconds I'm crawled over, pounced upon and barked fully awake. I get up, let the dogs out, feed them all and crawl back into bed. The next time I open my eyes it's noon.

The cat who lives in the garage is sitting in a circle of sunlight on the back deck. She's a pretty thing, I realize, a soft shade of gray with muted undermarkings and black rings on her tail. She runs when I open the back door but then hears the telltale sound of friskies and slowly reappears, making her way to the bowl with slow, light steps and keeping an eye on me all the while. I talk to her while she eats but don't attempt to get any nearer. She regards me with those big yellow eyes, watching and appraising, calm but vigilant. The sounds of the camera's shutter don't seem to distract her and her look turns slightly more relaxed - she stretches, strolls toward another patch of sunlight and settles in to groom her face and paws. The next time I look out the window, she's sleeping peacefully on a bed of pinestraw, half in sun and half in shade, tail twitching randomly to the sounds of birds and squirrels in the trees overhead. Don't even think it, a small voice whispers in my head, she would never fit in and you know it.

The fact that I'm even allowing the thought is unnerving and I give myself a severe scolding before resolutely turning away. This will not do, I say outloud, This will definitely not do. And then a variation, I will not do this, I will definitely not do this. No way, no how.

Sadly, I have been known to disregard my own advice.

Happily, the cat isn't likely to know this.

I have, of course, been at this particular crossroad a number of times but I was younger then and the years didn't seem to have an end. One more cat in the carnival would hardly be noticed, I told myself, small sacrifice to save a life - when it comes to homeless cats, I do have a gift for overcoming my own objections and good sense. The one saving grace is that the cat will have something to say on the subject and she shows no signs of wanting to make a lifestyle change.

I pray for a mild winter, a strong will, and enough friskies to get us all through.