A Walk in the Ugly Garden

So God was strolling through The Ugly Garden and He decided to make a warthog, an anteater, and at the very last moment, an oppossom. The first two he exiled to the wild and the third he sent to my backyard.

The dogs were more frantic than I'd ever seen them, racing through the early morning darkness as if their tails were on fire, following the scent of something unseen but clearly present. They focused on the pale blue trash barrel with frenzied attacks - pawing it, ramming it, trying to climb its fortunately smooth outer surface. Turning on the deck lights, I approached the barrel cautiously - half of me expecting to discover some trapped mouse or broken winged bird, the other half expecting some three eyed night creature to lunge at me. I did not expect to be one on one with a small, narrow eyed and astonishingly ugly possom, curled up in the bottom of the barrel in a nest of sticks, still as stone and looking back at me with a steady, non threatening gaze.

He didn't appear to injured, in distress, or even particularly bothered by his predicament - he was, in fact, calm and quiet in the face of adversity. Perhaps, I mused to the dogs, falling into trash barrels is an occupational hazard if you're a possom and his mother is already looking for him. This sudden thought gave me a slight start and I immediately rounded up the dogs and put them safely inside then very gently laid the barrel on its side. The possom still didn't budge, made no menacing moves or sounds at all. Have it your own way, I advised him, But you better be gone by lunch. There's no room at this inn.

He was indeed gone by lunch but my the time it was dark, he'd returned. This time he was firmly planted on the rim of the city-provided barrel. He looked bigger, a trifle more confident, unmoved by the dogs' agitation, stoic.
There was no sign of aggression and I began to wonder if I hadn't encountered a pacifist possom who might share my live and let live philosophy. Still, the fact was that he was a possom, a wild and unpredictable night visitor with talons and teeth and I felt no need to be on a first name basis with him. Ok, I said reasonably, One more night but the trash goes out in the morning and after that I expect you to find different lodgings. This is not possom rehab and unless you want to contribute to the rent, consider yourself evicted. And as for you, I told the small brown dog and scooped her up and out of reach, I will not tolerate you having a crush on a possom. You're grounded until you're eighteen.