Tabby Cats & Trifles

The old tabby cat curls up in my lap and protests my lack of attention with gentle nudges and a small but softly persistent voice. Eventually she falls asleep, paws twitching randomly, her head resting on my knee and her purr a low, vibrating hum.

She's nearly fifteen now, thinner and less active than when she was young but still solitary and feisty with a strong antisocial streak. She's a loner - independent, reclusive, not inclined to be extroverted, sweet or patient but rather suspicious and watchful, always guarded with her affections. She has little interest in the outside world, never seeking a window perch or showing any curiosity toward the birds or the squirrels. She is a true house cat, needing no more than a patch of pillow and a full food bowl to be content. She doesn't play or prowl, refuses to engage the other cats and dismisses the dogs with a menacing growl and when needed, a swift swat on the nose. She can be very fierce but it's mostly for show - her temper flares and then is almost immediately forgotten. She refuses to waste a gesture or an emotion, she is nearly self contained.

I often wonder if there isn't something about resentful, ill tempered animals that attracts me. The challenge, perhaps, or maybe empathy. Lacking the skills or the desire to get along with our kind, we search for a one on one intimacy with a different species, shunning the attentions of those so like us and preferring our own company. In a crowd, I take refuge behind a camera lens while she simply curls up and falls asleep in a far off corner. We are both there, but apart, maintaining the distance and safety needed for our own comfort. We would rather drift away unnoticed than be part of the noise.

Her ears prick up at the sound of the black dog's nails on the wood floor and she opens her eyes, tensing ever so slightly, back claws extended and the beginning of a growl forming in her throat. But the dog passes by and she resumes her nap. Trust has come hard to the old tabby but for the moment she relaxes and sleeps in my lap, as if she is the only cat in a world made for her alone. It might seem a trifle to those who don't know her, but it is no small thing to gain the love of a prickly natured old tabby cat.