Butterbean

Halloween will be the small brown dog's 15^th birthday.

I glance at her peacefully sleeping on my pillow and am amazed at how the time has flown by. She struggles with congestive heart failure these days and her coughing distresses me but she's still just as active, just as alert, and just as nimble as she ever was. It's not terribly hard to keep the thought of losing her at a safe distance. Her time is coming, I know, but it won't be today.

She was the last of a giveaway litter, a tiny bundle of brown fur with big ears and sad eyes.  I could almost hold her in the palm of my hand.

"Her mama was a Yorkie," the young man in the overalls and feed cap parked in front of the Walmart told me as he lifted her out of the milk crate, "But we ain't real sure 'bout her daddy.  Travelin' man, mos' likely."

I had both my Schipperkes then plus a houseful of cats.  Taking on a new puppy was madness on every level and I knew it - I cringed at the very thought of the housebreaking, the vet bills, the added cost of food, the responsibility, and God alone knew how the cats would take to her - but I couldn't find it in my heart to leave her.

"Tell you what," I said with a sigh, knowing I was lost but not wanting to face it directly, "If no one's taken her by the time I've finished shopping, I will."

The boy grinned and tucked her inside his jacket.

"Yes'm," he said politely, "We'll be waitin'.  If'n nobody else wants her, that is."

People still ask about her. I joke that when I run into some old photo store customer that I haven't seen in years, they don't ask how I'm doing but they always ask about Butterbean. It pleases me enormously to tell them she's still with me - a little grayer, a little pudgier, aren't we all - but very much still with me. It invariably makes them smile. They then tell me how much they miss having a real photo store in town and I force what I hope is a pleasant expression and don't remind them that if they'd supported us more, they still might. It's a stretch, of course, and not entirely fair. The digital revolution did us in every bit as much as dismal management and customers who preferred to shop at the big box stores. Adapt or perish, as the saying goes.

So Happy Birthday, little girl. You're been a comfort and a blessing and one of the best decisions I ever made. You are loved.