And That's What It's All About

It was midway through a Monday morning from hell when the credit card machine decided to dig in its heels and fail halfway through a transaction.  The display abruptly went wild for a few seconds, lights flashed and warning tones chirped, then it went dark.  Three 'phone lines were simultaneously ringing, the doctor was hovering over my shoulder demanding to know if the printer repairman had called, there was a line at the glass window and another at the check out counter and not a nurse in sight.  I felt like a firework in mid explosion.

A young-ish sounding and calm-voiced tech support guy named John took my call, first inquiring after my health - I was in no mood to chit chat and made that clear - he immediately apologized, asked a few routine questions and then put me on hold.  When he came back, he warned me that it was a complicated fix but that he'd walk me through it.  I growled.

Are you ready? he asked, There's a lot of steps so be sure you have room.

Yes! I snapped, too angry and impatient to wonder what the hell room had to do with it.

Ok, he said with that irritating level-headedness, Put your left foot in.

My hand froze above the screen.  

What??  I demanded incredulously.

Put your left foot in, he repeated serenely, Then put your left foot out.

Certain I'd crossed into The Twilight Zone, I stood there with my hand poised over the LED and tried to make sense of what I was hearing.

Now, he continued placidly, Hit enter and then punch 9.

Instantly the screen lit up correctly.  

That's it???  I couldn't believe it.

That's it, he assured me and I could've sworn he laughed, But I thought you needed to smile.

John....I kept my tone even, couldn't have been able to stay mad if I'd tried,  You know, nobody likes a wise ass merchant services guy.

Then he did laugh and so did I.  Because sometimes the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about.

And that's a true story.