Patience, Grasshopper

Nothing to it, the sales rep assured me confidently, I'm putting the request through now and if you call back in a couple of hours, we'll have your new number for you.


Will they need anything beside my old phone number?  I asked, trying to keep the suspicion out of my voice.


Absolutely not, he said with that programmed cheerfulness required by all customer service reps, It's as good as done.


Three hours later I dialed the number and explained to a new but equally perky sales rep that I had requested a change of telephone number for my cell phone and was calling to get the new number.   He automatically told me how he would be more than happy to assist me and asked for my cell number - which I gave - and then my account number.  When I said I didn't have it, I could almost hear him sigh but he regrouped quickly, asking for my name and address and telling me that he could look up my account number.
  
So, he resumed several minutes later, May I have your new number?






A gnawing feeling began to grow in my gut and reminding myself that nothing would be gained if I lost my temper this early, I patiently repeated that I didn't have the new number and that getting it was the purpose of my call.


Hmmmm, he mused, Let me check a little further for you.


The second wait was longer and the gnawing feeling was picking up speed and intensity.


There seems to be a problem, he began when he came back on the line, Your phone isn't equipped for a number change and you're going to need an upgrade.   I'm transferring you to tech support.


The third wait was well into double digits and by then I was fuming.  Tech support began with an apology for the delay - then an apology for the misinformation provided by their sales people  and a third for the fact that I was going to be inconvenienced since a new phone wouldn't arrive for 3 - 5 days and my current phone wouldn't be working in the meantime.


And what is all this going to cost me?  I asked tightly.


Let me check with my manager, he said a little too quickly, I'll see if we can get you a discount.


After the fourth wait - just under a full ten minutes this time - he was back.  A few more apologies,a chipper attempt to sell me a more expensive monthly plan, an empty promise of free shipping and finally, the fact that the upgrade would be at no cost to me - a goodwill gesture for my loyalty and patronage.


Forty minutes of my life I'd never get back, I thought, trying to be philosophical.
Patience, Grasshopper.