Superstitions

I don't throw salt over my left shoulder if it's spilled, never give a second thought to a black cat crossing my path and have never been afraid to walk under ladders or keep an open umbrella in the house.  But.....ask me to remove the gold cross I've worn for the last fifty or so years, and you'll meet rock hard resistance.  Somewhere around thirty years ago I added a chain with The Serenity Prayer inscribed on a small silver dog tag - one keeps me safe, the other keeps me sane - they're the only concessions I make to superstition or faith, despite not always being sure that I can tell the difference. 


Coming of age in the 60's, I came to believe that protest could lead to change and change to peace -  being naturally stubborn and idealistic, it was a hard illusion to set free and a part of me still hopes it might return if the current president manages to win re-election - but life has a talent for not turning out the way we imagined or hoped and we adapt, making course corrections as we go and trying to steer in the right direction.  I once expected to grow comfortably old, wrinkle free and silver haired in the company of a man who shared my dreams and a dozen cats - I didn't anticipate the true cost of independence or the price of freedom - but each morning as I sit and reflect, each evening as I wait for sleep, and all the time in between, I can't help but notice that things generally work out without my forcing them.  Not always according to plan, I admit, but most always in a way I can live with.  What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, as the saying goes.



If you believe in a deity or some version of a higher power, you have to make room for the possibility that there's a blueprint in place, a design of some sort, possibly even a map you can choose or choose not to follow.  For me, it's the only way I can make any sense of the world and the people in it.  Letting go is not giving up and we can all use a little guidance, regardless of its source.


Wavering as I frequently do between being an agnostic and one of the faithful, I usually end up choosing a private blend of spirituality - my silver dog tag - and a more accepted symbol - my gold cross.  In their own way, each brings me closer to a place of light where belief and superstition live together in harmony.