Though usually the strongest of allies, Aunt Pearl and Aunt Vi waged war over fish chowder for one entire summer, refusing to speak to one another when they passed, refusing to be in the same house with each other. The sisters had come to an impasse over canned milk, Aunt Vi being for it and Aunt Pearl being against. Neither was willing to give an inch over the recipe and Nana predicted violence by Labor Day.
A minor disagreement - arising when the village's only dairy cows unexpectedly went dry in May, another story altogether - began when Aunt Vi couldn't get milk for her fish chowder and after exploring all options, was driven to purchasing a small can of evaporated milk from McIntyre's. She told no one about this, fearing that her chowder would be tainted by the store bought ingredient, and was delighted to discover that the chowder was actually improved. Even her sister Pearl commented on it and Vi, in a state of high excitement, driven by the success of her radical and daring experimentation, confessed over supper. Pearl immediately backtracked, horrified that their mother's sacred recipe had been tampered with, and refused to take another spoonful. When Vi refused to apologize, Pearl departed in what Nana called a "high dungeon stomp", taking her blueberry pie with real cream topping with her and vowing never to darken her sister's doorway again.
The small sisterly spat rapidly evolved in a full family feud with each woman soliciting support from other island women and enlisting husbands and children in the dispute. By June, both were furious at the other's perceived stubbornness and intractability and the war was on with mutual family and friends being dragged in feet first. By July, sides were being chosen, long time favors were being called in, name calling and civil unrest reigned unchecked. Pearl called her sister an evolutionist, the worst insult she could imagine, and accused her of taking liberties and shortcuts. Not to be outdone, Vi immediately responded with charges of isolationism, claiming her sister followed rules like an obedient sheep. Progress, she maintained, was inevitable. Pearl went white and proclaimed her sister a closet communist.
In August, the tiny mainland paper picked up the story with a headline reading CANNED MILK WAR ERUPTS BETWEEN LONG ISLAND SISTERS: SACRED RECIPE UNDER FIRE. Miss Hilda, astonished and disgusted, promptly arrived at our back door in her riding boots and tweed jacket, walking cane in hand. Alice, she informed my grandmother briskly in clipped, no nonsense British tones, This has exceeded the bounds of civility. Be good enough to get your coat and accompany me.
Both sisters had been brought, under protest, to the village church, where they were informed, they would remain under the watchful eyes of Miss Hilda, my grandmother, and for good measure, the minister, until such time as they each saw fit to reconcile and resolve their differences. I will not tolerate this unwarranted attention to a matter of dairy products any further, Miss Hilda said calmly, You will leave as sisters and friends or you will remain until....she paused for a surreptitious glance at the minister who diplomatically nodded and lowered his eyes .... until hell freezes over, she finished with a sharp rap of her walking stick, Do I make myself abundantly clear?
The sisters - stubborn but aware that Miss Hilda never made idle threats - came to their senses and declared peace, even managing to agree that perhaps there might be room on the island for traditionalism as well as innovation as long as both were held in reasonable check. Two kinds of chowder would learn to live together and two sisters would be re-united.
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