Choose your battles, I remember Uncle Shad telling me, and then later he said, Choose your burdens as well. The first advice was easier to put into practice.
Whether out of training or reflex, guilt or just habit, oftentimes we carry burdens needlessly. We strap them on like backpacks and struggle with the weight and the bulk - the effort of moving forward is physically exhausting and emotionally draining. Yet we dare not let go for fear that the world will collapse around us, like an explosion of jigsaw puzzle pieces blown in all directions and landing randomly, impossible to put right. The illusion of having or needing control too often overrides free will - the need to maintain, to balance, to make sure that everything works according to plan, that the waters aren't muddied by conflict or confrontation, prevails.
Choosing which burdens to carry and which to leave at the side of the road takes effort. We can't fight the battles of others, can't rescue everyone who needs it, can't evade every unpleasantness. While it's hard to admit, we are, none of us, indispensable or essential and we have the obligation to learn to say no and risk the peril of someone else's disappointment or anger. We have to get past the idea that saying no is a social sin.
If it accomplishes nothing, turn it down.
If it gets in the way of someone else's hard work, say no.
If it provides a safety net for someone who needs to learn to be accountable, say hell, no.
If it costs you peace of mind or time you can't spare or a good night's sleep, let it go.
When the crosses we all bear become unmanageable, it's time to remember that we choose to carry them and we can just as easily choose to lay them down, if we are willing to relinquish the spotlight.
Whether out of training or reflex, guilt or just habit, oftentimes we carry burdens needlessly. We strap them on like backpacks and struggle with the weight and the bulk - the effort of moving forward is physically exhausting and emotionally draining. Yet we dare not let go for fear that the world will collapse around us, like an explosion of jigsaw puzzle pieces blown in all directions and landing randomly, impossible to put right. The illusion of having or needing control too often overrides free will - the need to maintain, to balance, to make sure that everything works according to plan, that the waters aren't muddied by conflict or confrontation, prevails.
Choosing which burdens to carry and which to leave at the side of the road takes effort. We can't fight the battles of others, can't rescue everyone who needs it, can't evade every unpleasantness. While it's hard to admit, we are, none of us, indispensable or essential and we have the obligation to learn to say no and risk the peril of someone else's disappointment or anger. We have to get past the idea that saying no is a social sin.
If it accomplishes nothing, turn it down.
If it gets in the way of someone else's hard work, say no.
If it provides a safety net for someone who needs to learn to be accountable, say hell, no.
If it costs you peace of mind or time you can't spare or a good night's sleep, let it go.
When the crosses we all bear become unmanageable, it's time to remember that we choose to carry them and we can just as easily choose to lay them down, if we are willing to relinquish the spotlight.
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