A Small Spark of Discontent

It begins with a small spark of discontent.

Perhaps your feelings get hurt by a thoughtlessly passed remark or well meant reprimand. Someone else discovers a mistake you've made and you are corrected with less gentleness that you think you deserve. You feel the demands on your time are unreasonable or excessive and there are not enough hours in a day to get it all done. It's suggested that you try harder, focus more intently, pay more attention, become a team player, get with the program. There's an unsaid "or else". The words sting, justified or not, and you carry them home where the small spark gets kindled and turned into a fire, which when given enough time, turns into a steady and bright burning blaze. The fire is fed and maintained by those close to you - a friend, a spouse, a partner - and while it may be meant to be supportive and helpful and offsetting, the result is that a minor slight that should die a natural death is nourished until it blossoms and bears fruit. Your hurt feelings turn into a conviction that you are being taken advantage of which turns to resentment which turns to anger. Rather than accept your own responsibility, you decide to take a stand against your oppressor, refuse to be exploited any further, demand your rights and demonstrate the strength of your position. Eventually, whether you quit or are fired, very little is resolved and the entire process is doomed to repeat itself.

As with any destructive and self perpetuating cycle, it's a difficult and painful progression to watch. The search for approval and praise is not something we can conveniently set aside and fragile egos break easily when built on the values of others. Be cautious in making a bid for sympathy and understanding at the end of a rough day - those who care may do more damage than the day itself.