The Egg McMuffin never stood a chance.
Before I could take my key out of the lock and close the door, 70 pounds of pit bull launched herself at me and sent everything I was holding, including the Egg McMuffin, flying. I abruptly found myself straddled, pinned to the floor and receiving enthusiastic kisses. Notebooks, file folders, the mail, my purse, and my breakfast were all scattered everywhere. I was still trying to fight her off when she suddenly caught the scent of MacDonald’s and abandoned me, snatched the brown paper sack and bounded off like an overweight and ungraceful gazelle. I’m used to having an avalanche of dogs greet me but this was the first time I’d been tackled and taken down.
I picked myself up off the floor and gathered my things - no harm, no foul, no casualties but for the breakfast sandwich - then corralled the rest of the dogs and led them outside. It was like wading through a herd of over anxious cattle, they head butted each other and me all the way to the door then tumbled down the back stairs and spilled into the yard like a pack of snapping turtles. I settled myself on the top step where I could keep an eye on them, and lit a cigarette.
It was sunny and warm for November and then a breeze rippled through the trees and it began raining leaves for as far as I could see. A squirrel skittered down from one of the big trees and tight-roped his way across the electric wires, tail switching and chattering loudly at the dogs below but they were intent on patrolling the fence line for any sign of one of the several feral cats who prowl the neighborhood, and they barely noticed.
The breakfast-snatching female pit then appeared behind me, laid her head on my shoulder for a brief second and then body-slammed past, anxious as ever to stir up whatever mischief she could find. Her prime target is always the littlest pit mix but in a pinch she’ll take on the cur dog or the old pit, singly or both at once, depending on her mood. She’s an instigator, a relentless pot stirrer, and aside from the fact that she’s sweet natured with people and generally comes when she’s called, I can’t think of any other good qualities she possesses. She’s clutzy, chunky, needy, pushy, jealous, not terribly bright, death on designer shoes, and an overall pain in the ass. Oddly enough (or maybe not), she fits right in.
Still and all, the company of dogs. You can’t beat it with a stick.
